Styes

For the longest time I remember I have suffered from styes. They have blighted me from way back when I was a simple student selling shitty mobile phones to arseholes with a team of really great friends. I remember coming to work one morning with one and was offered by my assistant manager Lucy her wedding ring to rub onto my eye as a cure. Of course it didn't work, but like lots of silly things from those days and that particular group of salespersons the memory stuck. 

The affliction isn't that bad - it's rarely life threatening of course - but by god do they hurt. They are little balls of infection that manifest as clogged up eye lash pores that flare up. I have one around every two months or so and for me they are brought on almost entirely by sleep deprivation. I get them after a bad night with Joni, after a Scout camp, after a radio show run, and after a flight back from Canada or the US. 

They are small and a bit innocuous to describe, but they hurt like a tiny little ball of glass scrapping your eyeball from under your eyelid, with no respite for days on end. The worst ones last a few days to a week, peaking at their worst on the day they appear and gradually and slowly (in some cases so slowly it feels like they'll never) tailing off. The other disadvantage is that they make me look like a total idiot (or at least none more-so than my normal idiocy).

The most recent one that I am currently suffering is a 9/10 on the rating scale (10/10 being "amputate my fucking eye immediately"). Below is a photo of it and it is not for the faint hearted.