The Tale of Rock Steady 3: Finally Fame! and The Pram Rant

Rugby Rugby Rugby. It is an unusual sport, one of which I can say that I enjoy watching, do not fully understand all of the rules and have not played enough to account for any sort of proficiency in it. I find it much more tactical than football is, and is based more on a collective team effort than football, but lacks the individual skill that football allows the player to have. A try may be scored by a single player, but the whole movement has to be built up in phases and it is a real collective team effort, whereas a footballer can score a goal based on his sole ability.

I was musing the differences in the game because I was standing on the Upper East Stand at Murrayfield this weekend, for the Scotland Versus Ireland game. It was mildly boring for a very long time because the area of seating I was (vomitory 14) is home to most of the hospitality seating, meaning everyone was out for a good bevy prior to the match and came rushing at 5 minutes to kick off, being all drunk and annoyed that I could not show them to their seat in time. Also, the number of rugby fans who do not understand the points of a compass are astonishing really, with many exchanges being "This s the east stand, you are in the west stand." "Where is that?"

At half time I was approached by my supervisor who said that I had to loose my scarf. Not actually misplace it you understand, but just get rid of it. Why I wondered, it was red and beige, as close to neutral colours you can get for this match. It was because our area had been chosen to go down to the touchline for the presentation of the Triple Crown if Ireland were to win. At about 60 minutes we headed down to the players tunnel standing watching the game on a BBC monitor with that girl who does the track side interviews - cannot remember her name. Anyway, it was touch and go, for a while it was not known whether we would be needed because the game was pretty close, but in the end we were needed, and onto the pitch we headed. I was told to remove the scarf in case I was on telly. Which I was:

Figure 1 - Mark On The Telly! Taken from Youtube.

Though, in fairness, it is hard to believe it is me, it is. At last, I am Famous.

I will be singing autographs for anyone who wants one. Though I am still mystified by the fact that I was told to remove the scarf. Who can even see me fucking face never mind what it hidden around my neck underneath my massive jacket.

I said in my last post that I would have a go at the stupid silly bitches that don't fold up their prams while trying to enter a bus. My opinion on this matter is pretty obvious; they are silly cunts. Back in the day, my mother and I used to take the old 38B into town, and it was one of the old red buses that the 138 used to be, but this was when they were pretty new and orange. My memories of these bus trips are muddled and vague, though I do know a few things. Whenever we went into town I remember that there was no space for prams on the bus, so if you wanted to get on one with your child, you had to fold up the pram and put it into the luggage place.

Newer buses these days have solved a problem, and thusly created another one. By adding in these spaces on buses that you see for unfolded prams you looses seats, and standing space vanishes, and created the problem of mothers buying massive fucking prams that look like Robin Reliants that cannot be folded with asking planning permission first, and then look at you as if you have raped their mother while she lay in the morgue after you ran her over in a tank singing "Woah, the hokey-cokey!". What do they expect? I say, get rid of the spaces for the prams, and we will create more seats, more standing area, and less confusion on buses for us all.

Or, maybe charge them a fare for the pram. It takes up muchly space...

Rant Over.