The Tale of Rock Steady 4: Time and Time Again

Missing in action, taking my time, getting lazy. All of the above...

As I promised, here is a new installment of The Tale of Rock Steady.

On Saturday I was in attendance at Parkhead for Celtic versus Motherwell, and I was put into the "reserve" team, a group of 10 stewards that hang about until they are needed. I was no needed until after one hour of standing about doing nowt, when we were deployed into the exciting queue management outside, which involved me telling punters "to keep moving" and "place your teamcard against the bar code reader".

Christ, the excitement.

The main excitement was the story told to me by one of the more impressive members of the Rock Steady team, a filthy woman that has the voice of a sailor, the vocabulary of the Concise Oxford Dictionary (Swearing Edition) and the grammar and eloquence of a fax machine. It is like listening to Barry Ferguson reading Hamlet, with a golf ball in his mouth. Her story centred around "her man" and his "brawl" (pronounced Braiaaawallll) with his brother, and how he got "stuck" (impaled) on a piece of scaffolding.

She was not making this dramatic, she was talking as if this was just her normal weekend.

Another observation that gives me pleasure is the ability and want of everyone in the job, be it Protect Event, Upfront, Rock Steady or even the Police, to try and out do each other with tales of how long we have been working for. I yawned while standing outside the gents toilet at halftime, and ProtectEvent Bint A said "Wake up, Ahve bn wurkin since 8 this morning" to which I have no response, because I don't give an acrobatic fuck how long you have been working for, it does not make me less tired, see? Once one of these conversations starts, everyone chips in, with things like I am working at the Carling tonight, won't get home til 5am" and "One day I worked for 30hours straight" etc etc.

Like I care. I am still tired.

The Smiths

I have recently discovered the Smiths, which nicely coincides with Q doing a large feature about them splitting up. Try Strangeways, Here We Come, possibly their best album.

The Milk Round

I have been running around getting as many interviews as possible to try and get rid of this money that I don't have, and buy a car. Also, I fancy an Xbox 360. I went to London, Jacobs, Aberdeen for IGL and Aberdeen for Gyrodata (where I met Jonny for a pint, to which I still owe him one).

And all of this for what?

Gyrodata this morning phoned me offering me a position, at £29k starting.