The Tale of Mark Loosing Faith in Grown-Ups.

When I was younger, I thought the older folks were infallible. They were the ones to reason with, and their word was law. In any case, now that I am "A Grown-Up" I understand that this is just a fallacy of youth, a doctrine that is laid out by the Grown-Ups so that someone will listen to them. I learned this in one of the most interesting ways, and because nothing exciting has happened recently in the present, I am going to, for the first time, visit my childhood.

When I was Primary 6 Dairylea sandwiches were my favourite lunchtime delicacy. Simply some Mothers Pride bread, some butter, and a slice of Dairylea plastic cheese. It was, in my young eyes, the tastiest thing on the planet, but last week i tried one of these sandwiches and I was pretty disappointed. But this is not the point of the story, rather integral to the plot.

You see, if you were a loyal customer, you could collect the wrappers from the packets and send off for a lunch box, that would state your love for the process cheese. Naturally, I went through at least a packet a week, so in no time at all, I had obtained enough to claim one of the limited edition boxes.

One lunch time, a few months after I had been using it, I returned to the place where we kept our lunch boxes in the playground to find that it had been smashed to bits! I was distraught, and one of the kids said they knew who it was.

I was intrigued. The explained it was someone in the class below, Primary 5. The bell went, and we had to enter the class room, but I was still reeling from my loss; mostly in fear of what my Mum would say to the smashed lunch box.

The teacher at the time, Mrs Biggins, noticed my smashed lunch box and in front of the whole class asked what had happened. I, being rather shy in those days, explained in broken and nervous English, the turn of events. Stupidly I mentioned that I knew who had done the deed, and she ordered me to go down stairs and enter the Primary 5 class room, and explain to the teacher, a Mrs Munroe, what had happened. I left the classroom more nervous now than ever before. There nothing more scary than going into another classroom.

Whilst on the stairs, slowly walking towards the class room, I stopped. "Why should I even go through this?" I thought. "There is no need! It was free, and I am sure we can get another one anyway". Well reasoned I thought. So turned around, and headed back into my classroom.

Mrs Biggins noticed my return, and asked "Did you sort it out?" I thought about a second, weighing up the need to tell her exactly what I did. I decided to answer the question honestly. "Yeah, I did". My first mistake.

A few days passed, and my Mum was not worried about the lunch box, but still a bit annoyed by the fact that it had been broken, threatening to phone the school about it. It turned out she did. This where things started to go from bad to horrible.

After talking to the head master, Mr Sandler, about the whole situation, Mrs Biggins was dragged into the discussion. This where she said that I had told her I had sorted it all out, from which she assumed that I had contacted the teacher of Primary 5 about it, which I said I had not. I explained, probably very badly, my intentions about not bothering the guy about the lunchbox, to which my Mum called me silly; of course it mattered!

This is the point, where to this day I still cannot believe what happened, but everything I tell you is 100% true. Mrs Biggins then stated that Mrs Munroe, the P5 teacher had in the staff room confirmed that I had went into the classroom! Mrs Munroe was asked along to the headmaster's office, where, in front of me, my Mum, Mrs Biggins and Mr Sandler, she confirmed that I had entered the classroom!

Now, I was in a corner. I had two teachers saying everything had been sorted, my Mum annoyed for the reluctance to bring justice down on the boy who had smashed the lunchbox, and everyone was pointing the finger saying I was a liar!

At this moment, I decided that grown-ups were not as saintly as I wanted to believe. I still cannot understand why the teacher of P5 said I had been in class room. Either she was truly mistaken, or thought by backing up Mrs Biggins she would sort out all the problems.

I think we got a new lunchbox, I cannot remember for sure, but the rest of my life I will never trust Mrs Munroe.

I suppose I should mention it. Today is Hazel and myself's 5th Anniversary of getting together.