Insanity Crash: The Order of the Marque

“When on Holiday I enjoy watching people. Indeed, when I am in Britain I enjoy watching people; it is not a holiday exclusive activity. With the obvious mixing of nationalities which only happen in these situations a wide range of new types of people to watch are available, making almost 50% of the pleasure of being holiday in this activity alone.” (from http://justanothersheeldz.blogspot.com/2007/06/holiday-3-untitled.htm )

This is a good point. I am glad I made it, as it follows straight onto the topic of this post: watching people. In Glasgow I loved watching people, be it friends who are in interesting situations, or just the general public. I do not mean through a telescope, or even through a window like some of my other friends, but I like to sit, and watch out of sight, the comings and goings of some of my human brethren. The joy this can give me is uncanny.

Which is why working in a shop worked so well. I was being paid to have contact with the great unwashed, and to be honest, it was about as horrific as you can imagine, made better with top quality banter almost all the time with my colleagues. Still, when I left, Rock Steady introduced me to a large amount of total bawbags, and thus, my insatiable need for perusal of the public great was supplied.

But, in such a tale of beauty and prosperity, something much stifle it, and Wood Group has been such a stifling. The first few weeks were great for meeting new people, but now that I am settled in the office and people now know me slightly and what I am doing here, the opportunities have dried up. So, onto pastures new.

Which has roundly brought me to my only exposure to strangers within my current vocation, and it is the already mentioned commute. When I sit in my car listening to my music in the endless queues of traffic that appear from nothing for 2 hours a day, I can gaze upon other members of this society, and imagine what they are doing with their lives, and what they are doing in that particular car. I like to guess the profession of the driver from their car, and sometimes I think I can make a good estimation of their lifestyle too.

Any Ford: You are most probably a family person, who enjoys a good drive, but in comfort. You have probably owned a Ford before and quite like the styling of the cars even when they of the most boring shape on the road at the moment. Note: The new Mondeo is very nice.

BMW (3-5 series): You are in a management role, or are related to someone who is. You bought the new shape, even when it is unusual, and think it looks cool. A large 3 door car is more practical than a smaller 5 door car, and you like the fact your car has no identifying badges on the back.

Porsche: You are making a lot of money, but have no family to spend it on, and are most probably a total bastard in the office environment.

Subaru Impreza/Lancer Evo/Superbike: A mechanical engineer, mostly male, who decides that his car is too look like it came off the world rally tour, and you picked up at a bargain price. You don’t car the style is (and has been for a long time) out of date, and only worry about the extra 5bhp the car can give you at the lights.

Volvo: Need I say more?

Volkswagen: You enjoy a good drive, and normally have to trouble paying extra for a little premium for brand, which you perceive as quality. You enjoy the fact that the car you drive is the basis for a whole bunch of other cars, and that yours is the “original”. Have a fair amount of contempt for Audi and Seat owners.

Audi: You enjoy a good drive, and normally have to trouble paying extra for a little premium for brand, which you perceive as quality. You enjoy the fact that the car you drive is the basis based on a more expensive model, and that yours is the “update”. Have a fair amount of contempt for Volkswagen and Seat owners.

Seat: Wish that you were driving a Volkswagen or an Audi, because even when it is the same car, the badge belies that fact.

Fiat Punto: Normally an all together and really cool guy, with fantastic hair and is great in bed.