In The Middle of the North Sea Pt 1.

The Tower and Mr Ocean

It is with great pleasure that I bring to you the first real and important installment of my Tales of Wood Group, and these will be interesting to almost anyone who knows me, and those who look to follow my foot steps, and most importantly, it will be funny. Or at the very least, close to humourous.

So, on the 4th of January I was kitted out in my thermal trousers and my bag filled with Safety Gear, and I taxied to the Scotia Heliport with the aim of going offshore for the first time - and interestingly I failed, because someone somewhere wanted me to tidy my flat before I left, and due to high winds offshore, after a nervous and agonising wait, I was told to beat it, returning tomorrow afternoon.

So, on the 5th of January I was kitted out in my thermal trousers and my bag filled with Safety Gear, and I taxied to the Scotia Heliport with the aim of going offshore for the first time - and I passed! Leaving Dyce (Aberdeen for those who are about as proficient in North of Scotland geography as I am with the intricacies of how to parachute using a bin bag and some chicken wire) we headed into the unknown. At least for me, as I was the only one on our flight that had never been offshore, and had never been to the Forties field before. Oh well.

So what is it like?

Okay, I suppose. I start at 7am, and finish at about 6pm, so it is a fair shift. I have a comfy bed, a warm room, a TV with Sky, occasional internet and telephone, and also the food is pretty good too. But the sight of the sea?

Wow. It is the most amazing thing about it - you are literally miles from anything, and the wind is something else. Mr Sea has a problem with us taking the piss by putting a big steel tower in his garden, sucking his life blood from him. Also, it doesn't help that you are 200ft from the sea level to begin with, and then they throw in sea through walkways and wobbly rusting ladders at you - I am not scared of heights in anyway, but you do get a sense of Vertigo from walking up these platforms, whilst watching a huge boat swaying mentally in the raging waters.

These are my first impressions, and the fun will continue I am sure. I plan to try and make this a two day thing, so we shall see.