Insanity Crash: That Was Close - A Tale of Aberdonian Drivers.

I almost had an accident last Friday. I say I where I really mean a woman and I, as there were two people involved in this almost disaster. As I left work on Friday afternoon I realised that I had to go back to my flat to pick up my Cineworld unlimited card in case I decided to go through a couple of hours of mediocre film making at the weekend. As I left the car park at Wood Group I put my sun glasses on and put my music up, thinking the weekend is here in its infancy and I was ready to grasp it by the horns.

I approached the big roundabout that links Altens with Tullos and Kincorth, the two other areas of Aberdeen that I can safely say I wouldn’t like to end up at night, and I ventured across the roundabout in my own lane, the far left lane. Directly after the roundabout there is a road that emerges from the left that is less than 50 yards from the end of the roundabout. I am in the left lane, and the car ahead of me is indicating that it is turning into this lane. I check my blind spot and my mirrors, signal and start to change into the right hand lane.

Through the car in front of my as it turns I can see there is another car, an Audi estate car, with a woman in the driving seat. I am now in the right hand lane when I see her start to pull out – she is obviously turning right and is crossing my side of the carriageway to go onto the roundabout.

“Oh bollocks” I think as in a split few seconds she runs out into my lane, I swerve wildly to the right, mounting the central reservation slightly and missing her by approximately a baw hair.

I pull into the left, shaking with adrenaline and fright, and put on my hazards. I un do my seat belt and look in the rear view mirror. “How did we miss?! Did we miss? I think we missed.” I think, as she pulls her car over behind me. She gets out and I get out.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t see you.” She explains. No shit Sherlock, I think.

I mumble something about it being okay and some other stuff, and I retreat back to the car, still on heightened awareness from the close shave. As I drive away I am still perplexed as to how I managed to move the car out of her impact line…

In any case, I never did end up going to the cinema.

This allows me to bring up something that I can’t believe happens up here. The lane discipline is so bad that people actually turn right at roundabouts in the left hand lane of two. In one case I missed a truck by millimetres because of this. It is quite hairy. I must say that the drivers in Aberdeen are the worst I have ever driven alongside – they are rubbish at lanes, give ways, roundabouts, and incredibly, are even terrible at traffic lights. I wonder why fleetingly, and can only come up with one answer – there are no motorways up here. I spent most of my time going to the city centre of Glasgow by jumping onto the motorway almost nightly, and up here there are none.

Even the big main road that goes North and South is kind of a motorway but there are no massive junctions like Charing Cross, the M77 bit or even the M8-M73-M74-A8 spaghetti junction type thing. I have had practise on some of the worst roads in Britain, and I think I am either a better driver for it or everyone up here is worse for not doing it.