It was not until the fourth year of High School did the first member of my friends have to pick up glasses. He was exactly my best friend, but nonetheless there was severe piss taking and joviality when he turned up with the specs on. It became clear that sooner or later, almost all of us would need some form of spectacles, with, in quick sucession, all of my other close mates having to invest in tiny windows perched precariously on the end of their generous noses.

My afflication with glasses only started to really affect me when I went to Ineos at Grangemouth for placement. Sitting at the computer for hours a day and then driving 40 miles home was playing havoc with my eyes. I was getting head aches, pains, blurred vision, and to top it all off, I was hving to face the prospect of having to go and get glasses. So, I did.

I went to an optician to get my eyes looked at. After a few tests, she quizzically looked at me and said “Were you University today?” I replied “Why yes, my glass dispensing minx” to which she heartily laughed, smacked my bottom and told me to come back in the morning to compare tests.

Interestingly (for me) my morning test was better. This meant one thing – I am lazy. Well, my eyes are. Basically, I have what the woman called a near point of convergence and a lack of ability to switch from close focusing and long focusing. What this means is that at close quarters my eyes fail to adjust and it hurts my head. So, to counter this I had to get a pair of glasses.

The horror. I had to choose frames, get them made, pay for them… well, not exactly. Being a cheap student I was referred to the Caledonian University Eye Clinic, and was paraded in front of attractive optical students and old smelly lecturers as a good example of a “hard to diagnose case”. The exercises they gave me were tiresome, and the glasses we off the shelf. Bloody terrible.

So, I put up with them. They sorted the problem of sore heads but gave me a worse problem. The more I wore them the worse my general eyesight became and the worse my general eyesight became I wore them more. What I call the CIRCLE OF FAIL.

My New Glasses. Kind of.

I bought new glasses last week. I like them. They are great to wear as I can see. The are the right size for my head, which is nice. The also look amazing in my opinion. Hazel is less enthusiastic about them. Other are more enthusiastic about them. Some outright like them. I know which ones I am siding with.