In the beginning when God was creating the world, He was sitting on a cloud, telling the Arch Angel Gabriel what he had planned for Scotland.
"Gabriel," says He, "Look at this place. I'm going to give this place high majestic mountains, beautiful purple glens, streams laden with salmon, it will be divine. They'll have golden fields of barley from which a whisky coloured nectar can be made, green lush, spectacular golf courses, coal in the ground, oil under the sea......."
"Wait, Oh Lord..." interrupted Gabriel. "Aren't you being too generous to these Scots?"
"No, not at all. Wait until you see the neighbours I'm giving them."