I'm pregnant and the baby is an idea.

“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is [the] way great spiritual giants are produced.”
Swami Vivekananda

Early this week I dreamt that I was pregnant. Not like those dreams where a songwriter has a fully formed song waltz into their mind, nor in the same way a line of traffic follows the rules of a red light, this dream was bordering on a nightmare were it not for the disastrously comedic theme that ran through the dream, ending with my appearance on a talk show. I slowly came round, back to reality, with a slight bump (pun intended) and realised how lucky I was to not be up the duff.

Several people, namely Ana and Steve, have both asked me “Who the father…er, Mother… erhm… was?” and there was no answer in the dream, so I’ve decided that it was an immaculate conception. Not exactly the same as the Virgin Mary but close enough to make a joke about it on a blog at a later date. If there had been a parent involved, it would’ve been a woman… though the logistics of this make my head spin.

The dream, being close to a nightmare, was something I was pretty sure a man rarely dreams about – not only because it’s quite impossible for a man to become pregnant, not having the necessary plumbing down there, but also it’s such an esoteric concept, a man having a baby.

Then I Googled it and a multitude of websites gave me reasons why I had dreamed about it. Here are the top three:

“Pregnancy often represents new growth in your life, growing creativity. The baby kicking inside could represent the idea that your creation or creative potential is trying to kick you to get your attention.”

“This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.If you are really pregnant and having this dream, then it represents your anxieties about the pregnancy.”

“The Pregnancy dream may represent your real fears about falling pregnant. Dreams are also often influenced by our bodies so are aware if there is a condition.”

Erhm, yeah. But there is a little bit of interesting truth to these assessments because there are things that I am looking to, changes and stuff, leaps of faith (so to speak). Maybe I am getting worried about falling pregnant but… no wait, I forget sometimes that I can’t. it’s something I will just have to deal with. But the growth in my life is quite accurate. I have finally taken the plunge and joined a gym. Yep, I am now officially Working Class™. Also, I’ve been turning several things over in my head for quite some time and all that stuff.

So apart from it being total bollocks, it makes sense. Now to find the father and make him pay… I mean mother, obviously.