Spectator Sport Part 2

Dear Mark

As expected, I am writing to you from 2019. Yes, you probably should’ve been awaiting the arrival of this letter from the moment you read the 1999 one 20 years ago, but in 2009 there’s far too much to be getting on with. My memory is a little hazy (the nuclear fallout does that to you) but if I remember correctly you probably get this letter about the time you come back from New York, or Scotland… but probably before Gordon Brown saves the financial markets. I can’t really remember in detail. Anyway, as you can see that you are alive in 2019, so you’ll make it at least until 34 or there abouts, which is a good thing. My letter I got from the 2029 version of us earlier states that he hasn’t heard from the 2039 version of us, so I’m assuming either we are dead, or we just get bored talking about stuff to ourselves in the past. No worries either way.

There’s not point in try to explain this to you as you didn’t understand it the first time when you received the letter, but it’s going to get very strange when you start to write the 2009 letter to 1999. Don’t try to remember what you read, because that’s not how it works – what ever you write and send back is what we read in 1999. It’s kind of how this letter’s panning out – I’m just dictating to my Windows 2018 version of Word and it’s holographically typing the words back to me before the ionises it onto the paper you’re reading this on. It’s weird to think about printing onto real paper... but your head will hurt, but the 2029 Mark confirms it get’s easier with time and stops hurting your head so much.

So what’s happened in the ten years? Well, there’s been a war but this time it was bad. I can’t tell you much about it because we don’t know much about it – there was a leak of some mind melting drug type thing that changes your memories. I think we had a wife, not sure if she was beautiful but it was good. The sex was anyway. For a while I thought we were gay. I can’t remember if I tried it or not, or if it was just on the internet for a while. I can't remember if that's why I shaved my head... or become so fit. It was about 2009 when I started going to the gym, just before it became law.

The internet is amazing here. I went on Holiday to http://www.ebay.com/ last year and spent the whole time buying things. It’s like a real place. I’m heading off to Facebook tonight to grab some banter with Steve and Helen hopefully. Ewan’s said he might make it but the delay from Mars can be annoying, and their connection can be really bad so he might not be able to make it. It's very funny to think that you're using a computer to go on the internet. It's kind of like you imagining having to watch a "DVD" instead of a "VHS". Man, I have forgotten what they were like, my Wikipedia's continuously plugged into my brain automatically correcting me about everything. That's the iPhone Implant that Apple sold to us all. Means we have a touch screen interface in our brain. Yikes, that sounds scarier than it actually is... it's better than the Nokia Suppository model though, believe me.

Don’t got to America in 2012. No matter how often Noah emails you, it’s not a good time to be there. I can’t say any more. And the Olympics in London are pretty good, but the opening cermony’s crap. As expected really.

You’ll live in a few countries. The Mustang exchange is good, but as I said you won’t end up living in America till after 2012. Noah’s pretty insitent but don’t go. 2015’s a much better time to go. And the whole Mars bubble bursts a few years after Ewan and Martin set up their company there. They make a fair amount of money, but if you keep your iPhone in good condition like I did, you’ll make a fair penny when the mobile phone market explodes. It's an antique you see.

I think that’s about it. We’ve had a pretty impressive life so far mate. Enjoy Africa, the Lion doesn’t eat you in the end. And when you go Thailand it’ll take some explaining but the substance is just talcum powder, so don’t worry.

Before I forget, remember that you have to tell me in the 2009 letter to 1999, about not living in Aberdeen. Give us at least a chance of getting it right once. The 2029 version of us is really pissed it seems that we never get it right.

Take care (which seems slightly self serving actually)

Mark Shields, 2019 version