(For the Want of a Better Word)

I was born into a world that was about to change forever. The internet is the greatest invention that our species have ever created, and this is a fact. If we assume that the wheel, speech and civilisation were just always going to happen, the technology required to create the internet is mind boggling and as awe inspiring as any major feat of engineering. I look longingly at the Forth Rail Bridge as the most incredible man made structure in our country, but under our feet there’s an imaginary world crafted out of switches and cables and geeks furiously keeping everything in check.

In this world there are things I expect to be the same. Like, when I drop something, it will fall down. If it were to suddenly go upwards, then fall down, I’d wonder why it had done such as Gravity’s theory disallows this from happening. This is the same as I expect things to be on a computer. This week I have been doing another one of the company training courses, this time centred on a simulation piece of software called HYSYS, and it is obviously a very complicated piece of software.

It models process plant and conditions quite accurately. It’s a tricky thing to get used to, mostly because it was obviously designed a few years ago by someone who doesn’t understand a good User Interface, and uses some annoying and blatantly wrong software design features which had myself, my colleagues, and my patience angry at the logical missteps. This post is not to point these out, but to point out something of my personality that I actually don’t like.

I am stubborn. When it comes to things that I expect to work, and work in a certain way, I get angry, confused and annoyed. This is because I am an engineer. I was brought up on computer games where it was run to the right, and you will achieve your goal. I was brought up on Lego which dictated everything fitted together perfectly. I was brought up in a State School which meant you were called gay for just standing still. These are the constants and expectations that shaped the way I think.

Is it silly for me to get annoyed about stuff not working the way I expect them to? Is it silly for me to expect something to work logically, in a way I want it to, rather in the way that it actually is? It sounds whilst I am typing this out that I am being stupid, as it’s obviously me being wrong for wanting something a different way... but then something clicks in my head and I go “Wait, no, this is just wrong for working this way. It’s not me, it’s you! Gah!”.

Obstinate is a better word.