Mark

I have already talked at length about my name. It’s not unique, as already discussed, and it’s also, quite interestingly, able to be considered a bit of a treat – both of my names are nouns and verbs. It is the most geeky thing I can do, except for maybe typing 5073145 into a calculator and turning it upside down. Yeah, go on try it. Yep, that’s my name. Anyway…

I heard recently the comedian Mark Watson making the joke that whenever he hears a crow caw he thinks someone is calling for him. I was wetting myself, and whilst a few other people found the joke marginally funny it hit home because I’ve always thought that. The caw is so sharp, short and sythe-like it always reminded me of someone shouting my name really aggressively.

Anyway, even more recently I went to see a film about lying staring Ricky Gervais. Laugh out loud it kind of was, not the greatest movie ever, but for one thing – the main man, Mr Gervais, was called Mark. Aside from the… other implications of the character being called Mark, the hilarity was something not exceptional because of the recent saturation of my name.

See, I know no other Marks that work directly with me. Offshore, there was another Mark at my muster point which caused some kerfuffle, but directly in my department, there is only one other and he works in Glasgow. I am, unusually, with a slightly common name, alone. But on TV, that is a sudden shift towards it.

In recent times, like in FlashForward, my new TV show du jour, the main man is called Mark, and in Peep Show, the funniest thing on television after The X Factor, the other main man is called Mark. I like to think of myself as closer to the alcoholic FBI agent played by Joseph Fiennes, rather than the looser geek that pervs on pretty but equally geeky girls without no chance getting with them.

And I am sure you’d agree.