Aberdeen, Glasgow, Brussels, Bruges, Rotterdam, Amsterdam, Edinburgh Part 1 – Standing? On A Plane? Actually, Yes Please.

I went on Holiday to Aberdeen, Glasgow, Brussels, Bruges, Rotterdam, Amsterdam, Edinburgh and these are the posts from this trip.

Ryanair are utter bastards as we all know – apart from meeting their policy earlier this year via a proxy, I knew who I was dealing with and read every single bit of their “like a Bettaware catalogue” website with deep interest to make sure I wasn’t about to be gang-bollocked. By reading this at least I knew where I’d be getting shafted and when, if it came to it. In the literature that they leave on the plane for you to read as you are processed like a bottle at a bottling plant and they pretend you are an actual customer, I read that they are developing with Boeing the possibility of standing on a plane.

Now, initially I pissed myself laughing at such a ridiculous premise – why the hell would I want to do that? Then, I looked at where I was sitting, the boxy, shapeless, uncomfortable seat, the throne of the commoner, and the fact all I could look at was the nicely drawn pictures of the little faceless passengers escaping from a crashing plane, the insides of my own eyes, or out the window at everyone else who wasn’t on this god awful plane and I actually though I’d like to be standing, able to stretch out, like on a bus.

But then I thought how Ryanair would do it, and it’d actually be less like a gentle bus ride into the town, but actually more like in the first three rows at a Slipknot concert being pummelled from 360 degrees by other cheap skates and working class globe trotters, and I realise that I’d prefer to drive to Hong Kong that end up in that state of affairs.

Here’s the deal: give it to me for free and I’ll consider it, maybe book it, and then buy flights with Easyjet. There’s a company who manage to do no frills to the point of skeletal and is still in a different league, nay a different sport, than the shitless Ryanair planes.