Modesty, according to the some, is something that is a good thing. I suppose it is a good thing… I mean, if everyone pretended that everything they did was incredible, and then said so, I’d probably want to kill everyone. According to the dictionary that I have just looked up to check that I actually did know what it meant it means “having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one's merits, importance” which is what I thought. And that’s something I don’t really think I am good at – I cannot really say with certaintiy that I know what words mean. My vocabulary is something that isn’t bad by any means, but sometimes I just don’t know what words mean. Or how to spell them. But that’s not the point of this post, it’s supposed to be an exercise in modesty.
I think I am all right at some things. I attribute this inherent modesty in me to my parents, who didn’t lavish praise, and nor did they criticise excessively, but gave me a balance of “Good work” and “Look at what the fuck you’ve done” in a well attribute measurement. For example, my success at school was always played up because it would, in theory, mean I would want more of that… and my success at Scouts was met with less praise initially for fear of making me want to leave… or at least, that’s how I see it now. Interestingly, even for someone who was a Scout for almost 10 years and in the Scout movement for around 15 years, there were times I wanted to quit. Peer pressure from friends not at Scouts was an important factor in this… but my parents managed to “force” me to stay. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay them for this insistence. The above gave me a general normal lack of impetetus to want to thrust my talents to the front.
That’s why job interviews are the hardest part of becoming an adult, and I am glad that, really… in theory, I’ll never have to another one like a student again. The extolling of my virtues always made me feel uncomfortable. Still, there are things I cannot deny that I do well. I think I am personable. I haven’t really fallen out with anyone in a long time, and my most recent falling out that was of great consequence, whilst still has ripples of friendship ruffling about it, last only a few weeks and I know how it was my fault. But this is because I think I can make friends pretty easily and, whilst I sometimes stuggle to find banter with strangers, I can do pretty well once a hook has been found, or a common ground. I also think I am kinda funny, in a way. At least, I can make my friends laugh, and more often than not make myself laugh. Sometimes, I can send my self into a tsunami of laughter that I cannot really escape from, which is stupid, childish, and probably a little insane, but I don’t mind and my friends and family who have witnessed these rolls of laughter just let me get on with it. Sometimes, they will be forced by the gravity of my laughter to be pulled into the fun and start giggling themselves.
I am allright at football too. I mean, I’m not good, but I have the mind that lets me see what I want to do, I understand the game, and I know what I do, but sometimes I can’t make myself do it. The lack of my overall skill, I feel, is helped by an okay understanding of the game and what affect someone who, like me, might not get much of the ball and how they can help those who have it. I’m good at hill walking, rock climbing and badminton, I suppose too. And Ice Skating.
Which neatly brings me to the actual point of this post; I can ice skate. It’s a talent I picked up after an inspired moment of madness in my teens when my group of friends started going. Suddenly it was every single Saturday, for 3 hours, and then a burger king afterwards for dinner. It was a staple part of my diet that Saturday, and the speed, skill and balance gained from such a competitive and friendly past time is something that will never go away. The last time I ice skated was around a year ago and this weekend I will skate again. Maybe I can use my extreme skating skills to impress an ice hockey coach, just like I used to pretend back when I was young.