In late 2009 Steven and I decided that we were going to move flat. We wanted an upgrade from the place that I'd been living since 2007, and we found a nice ground floor place with better equipped kitchen appliances and a massive shower room. The overall flat was a bit smaller, yes, but we were quite happy with the upgrade. Unfortunately the place was freezing, had damp problems, and when we ended the lease the landlord fucked us over completely and utterly. For the record, his name was Ryan Catto, so if he has Google Alerts set up he should find this post, Steven and I absolutely despise you.

That being said, that flat was the last place I lived in with a good couch.  In Houston the couch was a single three seater that was barely big enough to lie out fully on, never mind snuggle. Snuggling is the prime criteria for my couches, and that couch was a bad one. But little did we know what was going to follow.

RIP this fucking couch.

Upon returning to Aberdeen we found a great flat - good size for the price, and well equipped. Much smaller than previous places I lived, it was nice. But it too was cold and dark - the place had three windows in total. In comparison, when we moved to Glasgow our flat there was cheaper by quite a distance, was three times the size, and the living room had the same number of windows as our previous flat.

This Aberdeen flat had what, on the face of it, looked like a great couch - but for some unknown reason the three seater couch actually only sat two people thanks to two great big attached mini-cushions at the arms. This meant that there was less space than the couch actually had to offer. And they weren't able to be removed! What this mean was that it was a strictly one perso sitting couch, though Connie and I did make valiant efforts to get our snug on.

When moving to Glasgow we got a fabulously large new flat. The light was everywhere, the rooms were spacious and the windows were massive. A true Glasgow flat. We even had a dog! So yeah, pretty good upgrade.

Except the couches. These were two seaters, bought (probably) from Ikea or Asda, and were weak. Small, two seater, no snuggling room whatsoever. We bought a massive bean bag known as a Fat Boy to compensate, but greatly misjudged a) the effect two people and a puppy would have on it and b) Frank's overall neediness for sleeping on it.

Right so, we moved again. This time to a house that was unfurnished and... YES. We bought our own couch! It's a four seater that's 2.9m long. That is ample room for sitting. Lying. And snuggling. And now Frank has the beanbag for good.

All is right in the world.